Yuffie and Torture Do Mix
by melisuhh.OSNAP
Summary: Any girl would do ANYTHING to be in my position. This punishment could turn out to be something good after all. That is...when I get off my room punishment! It's only been a day and I'm already hanging off ceilings! Really. I am. Teehee. [Clouffie]


**Summary**: Any girl would do ANYTHING to be in my position. This punishment could turn out to be something good after all. That is...when I get off my room punishment! It's only been a day and I'm already hanging off ceilings! Really. I am. Teehee. Clouffie

**Dedication**: **Chaotic Rei**, because after reading her AMAZING Clouffie's I had to write one myself. She inspired me. She's amazing like that. Also to my sis **Gemini Ninja**, she's always been a great buddy! And all those **_Clouffie_** lovers out there, and anyone else who reviews meh stories: D

**Disclaimer**: I do not own FFVII or AC, okay! Geez, you're so mean Sephy! He should have said it...not me...T.T

**A/N**: Hyper - Yuffie - Story - **Cloud** - Love! YES!

Yuffie and Torture **_Do_** Mix

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"If I told you, would you keep it s e c r e t?"

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**Prologue**: Cloud, Hero or Jerk?

It was a bright beautiful, blah blah blah! To tell you the truth today sucked! On my way home from doing my daily duties - hehehe - I came upon someone in distress. He was a poor soul who was crying at my feet. Okay, okay! That's not how the story REALLY went. So I JUST stole some guys wallet and all of a sudden I felt someone grab at my ankle sending me flying down flat on my face! Can you believe it? Of all the nerve!

So I look down and what do you know, it's good ol Cloud stopping by to pay me a visit at the WORST POSSIBLE TIME! If he came any later then maybe I wouldn't be getting yelled at by my gay father, Godo. Yes, he's gay! I mean, look at him! He's old, ugly, and alone! Anyway, back to my story.

So right after Cloud threw me to the ground, literally! Okay, I'm over exaggerating. But still! The guy who I stole the wallet from caught me! Can you believe it? The **Great Ninja Yuffie** got caught! Oh was Cloud going to pay for that!

So this guy told my father on me! Of all things, he had to TELL on me! But first, being the great ninja I am, he chased me around the streets for about a good hour. I'm so pissed, I can't even describe it. So, Fluffy-Wuffy-Cloud over here decides to catch me saying he needs somewhere to stay. How stupid can this guy be! First he makes me trip, then I have to run my ass off for a good hour, then he catches me AGAIN to say he needs somewhere to stay! Then I get FLIPPIN' CAUGHT! And whose fault was it? Cloud's! Of course the so-called hero catches me!

HOW GAY! Back to my amazingly ninja story...the guy went and talked to my dad! I was grounded and not aloud to leave my room for a whole week! Is he CRAZY! And the worst part of all, my Fluffy-Wuffy-Cloud has to stay with me until he recovers. Godo sure does know how to piss me off. Wait...on the other hand. Watching over Cloud may not be that bad.

Any girl would do ANYTHING to be in my position. So maybe I'm just lucky...yeah! This punishment could turn out to be something good after all. That is...when I get off my room punishment! I don't think I can take it anymore! It's been a day already and I'm hanging off the ceilings! Really. I am. Teehee.

I wonder what Cloud's doing right now? He's probably still to weak to do much. You should have seen how he looked when I found him. He looked like a Loz who got smacked around too many times. Loz, what a loser. "I'm not crying." That has got to be the gayest line of the century! He wins that award! And Yazoo? He looks like an Albino. Snicker, he DOES! Just look at him!

Off subject again...! So, I think it's about time to sneak out of my room. Weee! Okaaay...just remember, Yuffie, you're a ninja! Ow! Okay, maybe I should be more careful. There it is! Finally, Cloud's room. Wait, isn't he suppose to be staying in my room! Not like that! Geez, you perverts. It's part of my punishment! Well...it's suppose to be but my GAY father is too stupid to even remember that.

I think he knew I'd bother him. But what's wrong with that! Everyone needs a little...Yuffie time. I like that. Yuffie time! So, my conversation with Cloud went like this:

"Cloud, what are you up to!" I looked down at him from my hanging position on the ceiling. Hehe, this is fun. I think I found my new addiction. Beware! Yuffie's new addiction! Stalking you from up high! Yay!

He looked up at me, half-asleep, half-awake. Whoops! I think I woke him up. I'm such a _bad_ ninja.

"...Yuffie?" Anyone could've mistaken him for a drunk guy, I swear! He could barely keep one eye open. Like a pirate! Aye! I would make _such_ a good pirate. Yuffie, the Sexy Pirate. Yea... All that treasure...Materia...MATERIA!

Off subject again! Back to my conversation with Fluffy-Wuffy!

"The one and only!" Geez, he's so **B O R I N G**! Maybe I should slap him around a bit. Give him the Yuffie wake up call! My infamous wake up call never ceases to amaze. I used it on Vinnie once...I never knew the Vampire Boy had it in him! He jumped up at me and chased me around at lightening speeds! But it was creepy! His eyes were glowing red. I think I made him mad. (xD Vamp boi!)

"Oh." He smiled. OMZG! He SMILED at me! He's got the sexiest smile. I know, your jealous that he smiled at ME and not YOU! I would be too. Ahh! I think I'm going to faint. But, just my luck, it didn't last. Right after that he fell asleep, like a little baby. Like Loz...Nyuk nyuk nyuk!

Ugh! Now I'm being sent back to my boring room! With Cloud asleep there's absolutely NOTHING to due except bounce around my room. Wait...did I just hear Gay-do yell? (Godo...Gay-do...same same! xD) Whoops! Better head to sleep.

_Dear Journal,_

_I, The Great Ninja Yuffie, promise to bug Cloud tomorrow and take him around town when I sneak out of my room punishment. No...I will not steal...I will not steal...o.0_

_After today I learned one thing. Cloud is hawt when he's half-asleep!_

_-Yuffie!  
My Materia! Get your own!_

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**A/N**: Sooo...how was it! It's suppose to be Humor/Romance...they should add another genre called "Random". Yup, yup! Review and tell me how gay this is, just no flames. : ) I luff you all. Seriously. I do. xD I have nothing against Loz or Yazoo...it's just fun to make fun of them. Rei...I think your randomness is rubbing off on me. LOL!


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